This is my story to tell. All you need to know, and then some...
I was born on the 10th day of November year 1991 (my birth certificate detailed that my delivery was at 11:29pm). I was born in Manila, attended and graduated from a kindergarten school where I no longer able to recall. But, the one photo above is the only photograph that will tell me that I did. That's my mother next to me, and I am holding on to her ever so tightly while she and I were recognized at this commencement.
I have one older brother. He was born about 20 months ahead of me. Although he's older than me, my parents always used to clothed us as if we were twins. And if we were really twins, we would be considered twins balancing from each end of the spectrum. As most siblings, we hated each other.
I clearly remembered those times when he used to tackle me to the ground for childish quarrels and me threatening to kill him while I hold a poorly-sharpened kitchen knife.
All those times past us. We then grew up and he left me while he attended high school in a different town. I was left without a brother but he left me with all his fighting tactics to use as defenses for my own.
This is the two of us today. I have gone taller than him (in this photo, he was tip-toeing so our height looked equal). Clearly, he can still win in tackling me. He never does anymore though, we've outgrown that stage.
Now I'm at the point of introducing my parents. I want you to know that I came from a broken family. My real father is not married to my mother anymore. They separated because my father committed adultery. What a scary thought that I am writing about it now. It was a sad past; but for that situation to have not taken place, I would not be where I am now.
This is a photo of my brother, father, and me. Behind those smiling faces, the three of us were scarred from the cruelness of my father's misdoings. This photo was taken just before we immigrated to America. I have not seen him or even had a constant communication with him for the past 7 years.
Before we left him, I remembered how sorry he was with all that he had done. I had forgiven him a long time ago. Although I am saddened by the fact that our family will never be complete again, I rejoice for the healing that situation had showered me. My father has a wife now and has children of his own. He is now a better man who learned from his past. I wish to see him again someday in God's perfect time.
This is my mother. As most of the mothers in the world, she is very loving to her children. When I was young, she worked in HongKong to sustain our needs back in the Philippines. She would then be allowed to visit us every 1-2 years and WHAT A JOYFUL TIME THAT WAS FOR ME. I was not only with a mother's company whom I've not seen for a couple of years, but ecstatic with all the pasalubong I get when she comes home. Aren't I so happy?
Now you have to understand that when she was working in HongKong, my brother and I were still with our father. That was the time when she received the news about my father's wrongdoing. She was devastated about it.
She continued to work. My father went away to a different town to work. My brother went away to a different town for school. I was left with an uncle.
Drama aside, that photo to the left is quite my embarrassment in terms of fashion. Who would wear those jeans? Clearly me.
With all that I lack in family, I compensated with education. Above is a photo of me during elementary graduation with my fellow classmates. Look who has the most medals hanging around their neck!!!
When my mother continued to work in HongKong, she met a man there. Knowing she has no more husband to come back to, she married him. My brother and I were no longer fatherless. We were blessed with a man who loved our mother so much. They got married in the Philippines. My mother could not be more happier when she became a beautiful bride.
After they got married, we all moved to America. And that, beautiful people, is the reason why I am here today. At first, I was so hesitant to immigrate. I felt like I was settled in the Philippines even though I won't be living with them. I guess what happened back then was a teenage rebellion not taking into consideration the future ahead of me. Everything happened so quickly and I was struck with a traumatic question: 'Would you rather live with your father or your mother?' My little mind cannot foresee the future, I was left worried.
This is one of the reasons why I had forgiven and will always love my real father: He told my brother and I to live with our mom and stepfather. He said that if we are to live with him, we would have no future at all. He said that he's not able to provide the things that my mother and stepfather would otherwise capable of providing. I am feeling his pain at this moment; he gave us away just so our future will be better. He did not took hold of us; at that moment, he thought about his children despite of the pain of growing old without witnessing us growing up.
He was right. My future was better off being here.
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| My other siblings by nurture kinship: Benny, Elaine, Aya, & Jong. How ghetto do we all look here? |
I attended American schools. I graduated high school with honors. At the age of 20, I graduated from a 4-year university. As far as I'm concerned, I was the first in the family to attend college and earned a bachelors degree with honors.
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| My family now: Roma (brother's girlfriend), my mom, me, my brother, and my dad |
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| My mom and my dad during my nursing pinning ceremony |
I was pinned as a graduate nursing student. Following that, I passed my national licensure and worked immediately as a clinical nurse.
And here I am today at the age of 22.
I have scavenged for most of the photos I've included in this entry. Visiting the past resonates a mixed feeling of joy and melancholia. As I go through what I can remember, time numbs the present and everything of the past rushes back to my head. I hope that as you finish reading this, you'll understand more of me.
